My Mind Wanders...

1. Why do we put "Keep off the Grass" sign ON the grass?

2. How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?

3. How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?

4. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

5. If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"

6. If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

7. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

8. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

9. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

10. If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

11. Is a halfback more valuable than a quarterback?

12. Is the nose the scenter of the face?

13. Is this bullshit or fertilizer?

14. Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils?

15. Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?

16. Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"

17. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

18. Why do we kill people to show that killing is wrong? They'll never do it again. GUARANTEED.

19. Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?

20. Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?

21. Why is some porn called "soft"? It's still hard. I can see it.

22. What happens if you take No-Doze and wash it down with Nyquil?


23. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was? ~Satchel Paige
Great question, Satchel! My question is: What the FUCK where YOU'RE parents thinking, when they named you Satchel? Good grief...

Feel free to comment, if you have the answers to any of these questions...